Have you ever felt like you are stuck doing the same thing day in and day out, or that you are always reacting the same way in certain situations? Have you ever wondered why?
A majority of our action can be traced back to our subconscious thoughts and feelings – and we have a lot of them! Each day, the average person has anywhere from 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts. That means we have between 34 and 48 thoughts per minute! That’s a lot of random thinking throughout the day. These thoughts actually produce feelings in us – positive and negative – which, in turn, influence the actions that we take, and eventually dictate the results we experience.
Let’s clear this cycle up with an example. Suppose that you have the thought that you would like to start a business. Based on your life experiences, that may lead to other thoughts such as “you’re not good enough”, “that’s too hard”, “I’m a failure”…you get the point. Those thoughts may lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiousness, doubt and others. As a result of these thoughts and feelings that have surfaced from that original thought of “I want to start a business”, you decide to continue in the job you are in because it is “safe”. In this case, your action was to do nothing, and the result was that you feel miserable in your dead-end job, which leads back to thoughts of you’re not good enough, or you’re a failure.
What if you were able to recognize those thoughts and feelings, understand where they are coming from (perhaps your parents had high hopes for you and expressed their disappointment when you didn’t meet their expectations), and were able to change them so that you had a positive outcome? Maybe you take your thought of “I’m not good enough” and turn it into “I can take a business development class”, or “I will teach myself how to (fill in the blank)…”. By just recognizing the negative thoughts and feelings, you can shift to another thought that actually empowers you and then your feeling will shift accordingly and will lead to different actions that will bring you different and more desirable results.
We all know how easy it is to be triggered by those closest to us. How fast we react and how destructive and unhealthy that reaction can be! I used to stop myself from expressing too much when I was upset, especially with my husband. I remember driving and thinking – my thoughts going in a loop – each thought was more ‘victim like’ than the next, getting me nowhere and solving nothing. After learning the power of being aware of my thoughts, shifting them, and working on this muscle, I’ve found that my relationship with my husband has transformed entirely. I’m now way more aware of my negative thoughts, when my buttons are being pushed, and, when I’m able to shift them in real time, I act way more authentically and I take control back into my own hands.
And that, my friend, is your first step on the road to success. You can change the course of your life – one thought, feeling and action at a time.
Need help identifying those negative thoughts and feelings that are holding you back from experiencing the life you deserve? Schedule a transformational coaching session with Dali, the Unstoppable Coach. Give her a call at 949.933.8815.